It’s funny how a life event, such as attempting to kill yourself in my case, will change your perspective on the little things.

I watched the movie 50 First Dates last night, you know the one with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler, where Drew’s character Lucy permanently lost her short term memory and ‘resets’ when she falls asleep but Adam’s womanising character Henry Roth ends up falling madly in love with her. It’s hilarious, sad, triumphant and beautiful all at the same time and one of my all time favourites. If you haven’t seen it then leave immediately and watch it then come back or the rest of the post probably won’t make any sense.

I have watched the movie many times and it never fails to bring a tear to my eye but this time I found myself absolutely bawling near the end. I was trying to work out why it was affecting me so badly this time, aside from the fact that my emotions are about as stable as the Gaza Strip and I realised that it was the first time I had seen this movie since the suicide attempt.

Yes, this time I related in a different way when Lucy express’s her desire to erase Henry from her mind so that he could be free from her – I now knew exactly what it felt like to want to set the ones you love most free. It was plain to see that Henry was head over heels in love with her despite her problem, he didn’t feel she was a burden – this reminded me of what my husband has said to me so many times, and yet I have struggled so hard to believe him.

My hubby stuck with me through my darkest depressions, always trying to cheer me up and make me smile and even when I had given up on everything and tried to take matters into my own hands to in my mind set him free, he didn’t judge, he stayed patiently by my side, visited me in hospital every single day of the two months I was there. What I didn’t see and couldn’t comprehend was that he loved me, despite me and like Henry Roth he was willing to fight for that love with his whole heart.

Despite all of their struggles, clearly Lucy and Henry were meant to be together – just like my Hubby and I.

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