Dear Mr 14…

Mr 15 has had a phone for a year, no dramas. He exchanges house work for credit and I can contact him in an emergency. Perfect. Mr 14 just got his first mobile phone, but unfortunately he is now using it to ring or message me All. The. Fucking. Time. Which could be looked at as a sweet thing, except for the fact that it is always just so that he can complain about something beyond my control or tell on his siblings.

Bloody technology. I used to have school hours off from all the fighting and incessant tattle tailing that comes with the territory of having a large quantity of offspring. Now I find that I am being constantly interrupted with it during my pre-determined hours of sanity finding, in real time and with no regard for whether I’m driving, at the psychiatrist or folding the endless pile of  washing.

So,

Dear Mr 14,

To be honest with you, between 8am and 4pm I don’t give a flying fuck what Miss 8 said or Mr 12 did that wronged you, unless of course you are in hospital on life support – but I am quite sure that the school will be sure to contact me if this is ever the case.

I understand that you felt whatever the sibling in question did to you was an absolutely terrible misconduct of justice, but I am quite positive that you fully delighted in telling them that you would “Call Mum” and tell on them.

Son, I really would prefer to wait to hear about the woes of your day in full technicolour detail until the second you all descend bickering and screeching from the steps of the bus; like I have done every single day for the last 10 years.   

School hours are MY regroup time – which I need in order to try and remember how much I actually do love you kiddies without being unceremoniously interrupted by fighting, screaming and complaining every five minutes. I use this time wisely to catch up on housework, grocery shop, fuck around on the internet and generally beat back the burning desire to change my name and run away to a tropical island. Believe me, that can be hard enough at the best of times without being constantly nagged!

So, I love you darling, but kindly fuck off between 8 & 4 or I will be forced to block your number or smash your phone with a large hammer.

Love always, Mum

IMG_7645

7 Comments on “Dear Mr 14…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

Self-Improvement

Be Positive. Focus, Thoughts & Mindset

The Hejhej blog

Another blog that you dont need

P r e t t y S a n e B l o g

Mental Health | Schizophrenia | Grief | Lifestyle

Bipolar On Fire

Bipolar On Fire.... Living my life on the edge... Trying not to crash and burn...

The Nerdy Lion

Lions can wear glasses too

I Am My Own Island

Because We all need to find a way to live with ourselves

Cyranny's Cove

Refuge of an assumed danophile...

Thriving Under Pressure

Positive Psychology & Stress Resilience

- Fighting the Good Fight -

Writer and Mental Health Blogger

The Smiles We Bear

The Smiles We Wear, Are The Burdens We Bear

Touching Madness

"A genius with an idiot's mind" ME

%d bloggers like this: