I am trapped inside a mind that either lights up like a Christmas Tree letting in more and more wonder or one that has shut down completely, abandoning all home and reason.
Why can I find enlightenment with such intensity only to have it disappear from my body almost overnight? I am clutching desperately into thin air trying to recapture that empowering feeling of beauty and oneness, but it is no longer mine to hold.
My mind is splintered into shards of good and evil, elation and devastation, love and indifference. A collection of black and white polar opposites, bipolar opposites that are seemingly determined to build me up just so that they can destroy me.
Winter is upon us in more ways than one. The chilly air constricts my chest making it hard to breathe but I don’t care because I no longer want to breathe, I lie down and close my eyes, hoping that maybe the asthma can take me away from this stark and painful reality. As the cold burns through to my bones, deaths burning touch seems like a welcome reprieve.
I wish I had died during the mania, gone out on a high, safely encased for eternity within my bubble of spiritual nirvana, but I didn’t. I liked my little world of invincibility, until it shattered around me and I wasn’t. I flew high, but it seems not high enough to escape earths gravitational pull for without warning my wigs disintegrated and I find myself plummeting fast and furiously toward the rocks below.
The descent never gets any easier and now I fear the only view from the bottom will be that of the stars I will never again be able to touch.
Here to inspire and motivate you all!
Mental Health Blogs
Thrills, Spills, and just a dash of Romance
we are not alone
It's named what it's named because it does what it does. It does what it does because it is what it is!
Deep Down Inside...
the secrets we wish we could tell you...
obsessively suicidal, compulsively blogging
I used to drink and now I don't
A Hub where we discuss Psychiatry and everything mental health related!
A BLOG ABOUT BEING PAINFULLY HUMAN
Struggling with mental health, I was sat on a psych ward and inspired to start my very own blog! So here we are, welcome to life’s in the eyes of lauren where I’ll be tackling difficult topics and sharing my personal experiences, mainly focusing on mental health but also social services, the care system, living away from my biological family, school struggles and just life in general! i am writing to help poeple, if that means ive helped one person, ive achieved my goal. I hope you enjoy reading, Good Vibes Only xoxo
A Journey of discovery and self love.
The blog of an eclectic & eccentric woman
Mental health & day to day life