*Trigger Warning: Suicide*
*Please note that this post was scheduled in advance and is being published in honour of acknowledging feelings and is not a reflection on its authors current situation. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide then please click on the immediate help page at the top of this page.
At what point do I scream enough is enough and run from the room, run from these earthly ties that bind me and finally set myself free?
Guilt, rightfully mine or not, rains down on me, flooding the invisible world I live in and slowly drowning me.
The right thing for them is conflicting with the right thing for me and it is impossible to achieve a balance, I give up.
Because in the end, it’s all just been a storyline, a narrative designed to keep things interesting. Well, I’m going to make them even more interesting for the watchers now, because I’m not playing by their rules anymore. I’m going off the script, improvising I suppose, but in the most rehearsed of ways. They can’t prevent it anymore, they won’t stop me, none of them will.
I have been planning this out to the enth degree for as long as I can remember, I have slowly fantasised this fateful twist into its very own existence and now it is time to at last open the final chapter and enact the final scene.
The moon ascends along with I,
My blackened soul at long last flies.
Be gone the light of daytime eyes,
Shelter me as shadows arise.
Beneath my feet, times sand has spilled.
Moments and memories of a lifetime filled,
With all and nothing and no in between,
I bitter end to a life-long scene.
As darkness again begins to fall,
At last comes the final curtain call,
I take a breath and thank you all,
Take my bow,
and end it all.
Thank you, for everything.