No wonder I have intermittent ‘delusions’ about existing within a man made video gamesque style matrix reality, God knows I must have died 1000 times by now and yet each time I find myself miraculously resurrected again, rebirthed from the bipolar ashes, guns a blazing or tired and worn but either way somehow always ready just in time for the next big fight.
Even when I give up completely and vigorously wave my white flag at the sky, leaving myself at the mercy of my creator all the while screaming and begging to be reclaimed, released from the inscessency of this insane state of immortality I have found myself in, I survive.
Yes, somehow even then I always manage to live through the darkness, and every. Fucking. Time. For God knows what reason I climb right back up the same manic cliff edge ready to try and fly straight back off it again.
I might rise from those ashes but my Phoenixy wings have surely been clipped because eventually I always succumb to the fierce pull of gravity and crash violently and mind first back into the unforgiving earth. Rinse, repeat.
Tell me, when can I just reach that damn metaphorical jewel thingo that is apparently even beyond the questionably pearly gates of enlightenment, finally shout JUMUNJI !!! And claim reality as my prize?
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obsessively suicidal, compulsively blogging
I used to drink and now I don't
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A BLOG ABOUT BEING PAINFULLY HUMAN
Struggling with mental health, I was sat on a psych ward and inspired to start my very own blog! So here we are, welcome to life’s in the eyes of lauren where I’ll be tackling difficult topics and sharing my personal experiences, mainly focusing on mental health but also social services, the care system, living away from my biological family, school struggles and just life in general! i am writing to help poeple, if that means ive helped one person, ive achieved my goal. I hope you enjoy reading, Good Vibes Only xoxo