Sometimes I suddenly feel like crying, there’s no overt trigger, no relevant traumas, just sadness.
It washes over me slowly at first, imbedding itself into my core over moments, hours, until time is an unobtainable memory.
Grounding is impossible as objects, sounds and smells dissolve into feelings, breath unnoticed, I am lost in presence, absorbed by a uniquely mindful dysphoria.
For a while it feels as though there was never any other emotion, that there never could be any other emotion.
There is no narrative to support the melancholy, I know it does not belong to me. There is no room to speak, no room for thoughts, no room to be curious, no room to comfort.
So we do the only thing we can, the only thing we know how.
We quietly share the pain, and together we cry yesterday’s tears.
This is the worst part of my illness for me. I’m usually manic /hypomanic, so the melancholy is the farthest from my usual as I’m sure it is for you also. I wish you more time without this pain.
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