Good news, bad news

Well the good news is we had the CT scan and the abdominal lump is real, not just hypochondria. It’s also quite big which unfortunately means they want to remove it…

Apparently they don’t know what it is at this stage, just that it shouldn’t be there but the other organs around it look healthy.

We will apparently be given more information in a surgical consult…

Our psychiatrist has reaffirmed her promise and says she will take the day off so she can be with us during surgery which is really lovely but I’m still not convinced that we will agree to go ahead with surgery, too many parts absolutely don’t want it and to my knowledge nobody at all actually does want it.

Honestly I’d rather take the wait and see approach, realistically we couldn’t have surgery until at least December/January for logistical reasons anyway and frankly if there’s a chance it’s cancer then I think God has already spoken, I say let it be.

If it’s benign then that’s more problematic because it’s already affecting our digestive system and if it keeps growing then it’s really just a painful way to not-die.

It’s a bit surreal really, I think I was expecting them to say it was a figment of my imagination. Bloody 2020, should have known.