All The Kings Horses

“All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn’t put humpty together again”

It’s May 12th again. Now 6 years since the start of the suicide attempt saga that should’ve ended our life, yet here we are. The story of this suicide attempt has been a really hard to tell, mostly because we had so many different perspectives on what happened that night that we have been really confused by it.

When it happened, we didn’t understand “us” yet let alone each others points of view and it’s taken a really long time to figure out what the hell actually happened and even longer to work out how to go about sharing it in a cohesive manner. We eventually settled on a short series that included everyone’s vantage point but was tied up in a pretty little, slightly more digestible bow by The Scribe.

I was originally planning to start sharing the series today, but in the last few weeks life has gotten unexpectedly busy and the more we’ve tried to allow time for writing, the less we seem to have achieved. Unfortunately, The Scribe also can’t just be summoned either, I wish DID worked that way but it doesn’t, at least not for us and she has her own schedule.

This a story that has been very triggering to be a part of writing and one that’s going to be triggering for people to read. For some, really triggering and perhaps it would be better you don’t read it. That’s okay, I won’t mind if you sit it out. It’s just it’s a story that feels impossible to tell without certain details and certain specifics, so from a safety perspective it goes against our intuition (and the do no harm framework) to include them, and yet in fairness to all parts involved, we must.

It’s become clear through this process that we have some unresolved internal conflicts that we need to sort out and I will be trying to work out a way of safely doing this as soon as possible.

So today, rather than pushing our stressed system into re living the past, I am taking a self care day off from all the busyness and going horse riding down the coast with a friend.

Love to everyone, Kate