Lemonade

I have just seen the report from my recent PET scan and there’s no evidence of metastasis showing up!
I’m currently cancer free, stage four can kiss our ass because it’s time to make lemonade from all the bitter lemons we’ve been gathering for so long.

Time to say thank you and treasure all the laughs.
Life is a crazy, messed up beautiful dream and if I could do it over then I wouldn’t change a damn thing because even the hardest and most hopeless moments brought gifts of beautiful people, important lessons and the appreciation of connections found in a world where so many feel alone.

We’re all human, it’s wonderful, terrible and generally a pretty incredible opportunity when you think about it, we forget that though. We spend so much time trying to guess what other people want from us, what other people expect us to feel and dream that we forget to find our own self among the chaos.

As humans we need to learn to treasure our authenticity more, embrace our unique hopes and desires and to remember what is important lies below the surface not above it.

The pathway to loving yourself lies in finding meaningful connections with people who embrace you for you, no strings attached, no expectations and most importantly creating a meaningful connection with yourself.

Connection can come to you through random people on the internet, strangers sharing an experience or a knowledgeable glance but mostly we find it through our family, not necessarily the one we were born with, but the one we created for ourself over time.

These are the people who come for the giddy laughter & stay and hold our hands through the ugly crying, we might only talk to them once every few years but when we do they fill our hearts with joy and a sense of purpose.

I spent so much of my life trying to end it that I think it was only when I finally realised I was dying for real that I figured out I had no more need for long term goals and actually needed to learn how to live for now.

I’ve been given a second chance, probably a third or fourth now really and this time I can’t take it for granted because I don’t know how long I have left to feel well.

It’s time to live for myself, get enjoyment out of my world, my earth and embrace both my chosen family and my inner family, hold them close and be grateful that they loved me even when I couldn’t love myself.

It’s time to enjoy the lemonade, and my glass is half full.

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