A word of warning, a blog wide *Trigger Warning* is permanently in effect.
Who am I anyway? I’m a 30 something mother of four from rural Australia. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder but the jury is still out as to whether it’s type 1 or type 2 – I have been told both by different psychiatrists but in the end the treatment plan is the same so I don’t really care anymore…
Looking back, I have had Bipolar symptoms since I was a teenager but this all came to a head a few years ago (2013?) I think I was around 27/28… for some reason I am the only person on the planet that is unable to remember their diagnosis date but in all fairness I was suffering from a mixed episode and was mildly psychotic at the time.
I have been hospitalised twice thus far, the first time I was sectioned during a manic episode and the second time for suicidal ideation during a depressive episode where I tried to commit suicide in the hospital and ended up sectioned for two months – I will also put those stories on here at some point (or you could read the aforementioned un-published book!)
To add to the bipolar I have on going issues with EDNOS or “Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified” which began as anorexia at age 14 and now days I chop and change between binge eating and starving myself while trying to cope with rigid self imposed “rules” around food & exercise.
Yes I am married, and yes all four of my children are from the same partner (you would be surprised how often I am asked this after someone finds out how many kids I have!) I got knocked up at seventeen but luckily this was to the love of my life and soulmate who for reasons I will never quite understand has stuck with me through all of my short comings, he is my rock in shining armor and a wonderful husband and father. I am very grateful!
Right now I am not working at all, my part time job finished up mid 2017 when my workplace closed down. I do plan to get new part time work, past experience has taught me that I cannot maintain my mental health effectively while working full time. I am lucky that my husband is employed and we don’t rely on me having an income to pay the mortgage on our dilapidated old farm house off!
So, that’s enough about me for now – I mean hey, this whole blog is about me so we have plenty of time for that! Feel free to comment (politely), I love comments they make me feel like people are actually listening to my rambles and while I’m predominately writing this for myself, its also nice to be heard.
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