In the old days I was a mummy blogger but as time passes and the kids grow up I tend to focus less about Minecraft Cakes and more about the struggles I face with my mental health. I want to help raise awareness and reduce the stigma that surrounds it so this website is mental health focused and the Blog will be mostly about my personal mental health journey with a bit of ‘life’ stuff thrown in for fun.
A word of warning, a blog wide *Trigger Warning* is permanently in effect in case you were naughty and didn’t read the READ THIS FIRST section first.
I will be talking about topics that may trigger some people, I will be discussing eating disorders and suicide and you will need to use your own best judgement to decide whether or not the subject I am discussing is something in your best interests to read or not. There are times when I will write that I will be stable and well and there will be times when I won’t be, but in the spirit of ending the stigma, I’m putting it all out there for everyone to see, moods and all and I’m not apologising for that.
Who am I anyway? I’m a 30 something mother of four from rural Australia. I have a myriad of mental health issues, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder but the jury is still out as to whether it’s type 1 or type 2 – I have been told both by different psychiatrists but in the end the treatment plan is the same so frankly, I don’t really care anymore…
Looking back, I have had Depression and Dissociation symptoms since childhood and Bipolar symptoms and an eating disorder since I was a young teenager but I had been fairly good at masking it, this all really only came to a head a few years ago (2013?) I think I was around 27/28… for some reason I am the only person on the planet that is unable to remember their diagnosis date but in all fairness I was suffering from a mixed episode and was mildly psychotic at the time…
I have been hospitalised involuntarily twice thus far, the first time I was sectioned during a manic episode and the second time for suicidal ideation during a depressive episode where I tried to commit suicide in the hospital and ended up sectioned for a further two months – here is one story I wrote about that but I will try and do it properly at some point.
To add to the bipolar I have on going issues with EDNOS or “Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified” which began as text book Anorexia at age 14 with a bad relapse in 2014/15. Now days although I am much improved and from a weight perspective ‘In recovery’, the mindset remains something I continually have to work on and I tend to chop and change between binge eating and starving myself while trying to cope with rigid self imposed “rules” around food & exercise.
Yes, I am married, and yes all four of my children are from the same partner (you would be surprised how often I am asked this after someone finds out my age and how many kids I have!) I got knocked up at seventeen but luckily this was to the love of my life and soulmate who for reasons I will never quite understand has stuck with me through all of my short comings, he is my rock in shining armor and a wonderful husband and father. I am very grateful!
Right now I am not working at all, the part time job I had finished up mid 2017 when my workplace sadly closed down. I do plan to get new part time work, past experience has taught me that I cannot maintain my mental health effectively while working full time. I am lucky that my husband is employed and we don’t rely on me having an income to pay off the mortgage on our dilapidated old farm house!
I sometimes guest blog for other people and have written a few articles over at The Mighty Site, if you are interested in having me guest post or guest posting here yourself please let me know.
So, that’s enough about me for now – I mean hey, this whole blog is about me so we have plenty of time for that! Feel free to comment (politely), I love comments they make me feel like people are actually listening to my rambles and while I’m predominately writing this as a release for myself, its also nice to be heard.
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