Category: Bipolar Stuff

Info & blog posts relating to bipolar

Why is everyone looking at me?

Today I went grocery shopping with Miss 9. Sounds like pretty standard Saturday, except I spent most of the time unsure if she was really with me or not, doubting her presence and intermittently her actual existence at all. People seem to look at… Continue Reading “Why is everyone looking at me?”

Strawberry Bubbles

Today I felt elated, my problems of yesterday just magically fell away. Today the colours of the earth shon brightly and vividly just for me. Today I had alcohol. Today I talked too much about personal things I shouldn’t say. Today I spent a… Continue Reading “Strawberry Bubbles”

Schrodingers Mind Games

Dear M, A terrible thought dawned on me once a long time ago and it never quite managed to leave the dusty corners of my mind. It comes back to remind me of its presence at times when doubt begins to cloud my heavy… Continue Reading “Schrodingers Mind Games”

Chameleon

Dear M, I don’t know when or how this all started, I don’t remember anymore, honestly I don’t know if I ever knew. I just woke up one day and this was my life now. Suddenly I became aware that I had thoughts, the… Continue Reading “Chameleon”

Elephants

The room is crowded. It’s full of elephants. My aunt has a ridiculously large collection of elephants, and ironically bipolar. Actually in hindsight, those two things are probably linked… Anyway. What was my point here again?  Oh yes, elephants. 🐘 My last visit to my… Continue Reading “Elephants”

Hippos

“Stop working so hard, not at your job, in your mind. I’m wondering if there’s something you’ve been trying not to think about, not wanting to think about and avoiding it is using up an awful lot of energy… Yeah. Okay, there are about… Continue Reading “Hippos”

Surrounded By Myself

  I’ve been struggling.  I’m overwhelmed with responsibilities, frustrated by my inability to fix everything for everyone and disillusioned by the current political climate here in Australia, Hell, the world. But mostly I feel trapped, trapped by the very things I love the most,… Continue Reading “Surrounded By Myself”

Ava

I warn you this is a long one, I talked a lot about Ava in my book, she was after all my best friend for a long time. Ava, kind, caring, formidable, smart as a whip with a genius level IQ, she was the… Continue Reading “Ava”

Playing With Fire

I nearly burned myself again yesterday. On purpose I mean, to get that twisted release that comes from binding yourself too tightly for too long until you explode in a senseless torrent of vile self-hatred leaving you with the need to die immediately. But… Continue Reading “Playing With Fire”

Catastrophic Ecstasy

I’m tired of all my emotional extremes, they’re slowly breaking me. Even when the bipolar is quiet my ability to turn mountains into molehills on a dime truly astounds me. I seem to subconsciously love to watch myself burn and then writhe around in… Continue Reading “Catastrophic Ecstasy”