THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Category: cancer
Lies?
Having memory problems is really hard. I sometimes get scared I have made up my entire existence. I don’t mean just the DID, I don’t mean half remembered traumas, I mean everything that has ever happened in my life, I mean every single experience… Continue Reading “Lies?”
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Content Warning ⚠️ discussion of suicide which may be disturbing to some readers. Please decide if it is safe for you to continue & contact lifeline or your local suicide hotline if you are struggling. There is a gun lying at the bottom of… Continue Reading “Blank”
Equilibrium
This post was written in October 2020 and never published. I’m not sure who among us wrote it, but I feel it deserved to be published. Kate I just woke up to my nurse and a doctor who looked exactly like Ted from Schitts… Continue Reading “Equilibrium”
The Right to Fight
“My head hurts, I want to die, I’m not capable of handling this world, this life. I am shit and I’m so, so tired. I just want to sink into a hole and be left alone forever, sleep forever. End.They keep saying ‘you don’t… Continue Reading “The Right to Fight”
Lemonade
I have just seen the report from my recent PET scan and there’s no evidence of metastasis showing up!I’m currently cancer free, stage four can kiss our ass because it’s time to make lemonade from all the bitter lemons we’ve been gathering for so… Continue Reading “Lemonade”
Saying Goodbye
My Dad died on the 28th of December 2020.A good 10 days after a middle aged doctor in situationally inappropriate bright red Christmas themed scrubs told us he’d had a massive hemorrhagic stroke and would pass away within 48hrs. He was a fighter, my… Continue Reading “Saying Goodbye”
Broken Words
I am starting to lose myself again, I’ve had the burning need to lock myself away somewhere alone and just write until I’ve processed my entire life for a week now. I had a series of epiphanies that cracked open a box inside and… Continue Reading “Broken Words”
Tethered
Today is a woe is me day. It’s the day after my chemo infusion and the nausea is wearing off enough to examine my circumstances but the 48hr pump connected to my chest port coupled with fatigue is keeping me bed bound and unable… Continue Reading “Tethered”
Set Us Free
I was supposed to go into the city to have a blood test today to check I’m ok for chemo on Monday but the blood test place is shut due to the Easter long weekend even though Google says it’s open I rang to… Continue Reading “Set Us Free”
Emu-ism
I wagged chemo this week. If I’m honest Im a touch on the depressed side right now and I just couldn’t face it. The thought of the cancer growing just wasn’t enough motivation to get out of bed. You know those days when you’re… Continue Reading “Emu-ism”
THE COLOUR OF MADNESS 