The Colour Of Madness
Living with Bipolar Disorder & Mental Illness
Category: Dissociation Stuff
The Girl in the Hallway
I sit on the dirty white shag pile carpet in the hallway of my childhood home and glance up catching a sudden movement from the corner of my eye. There’s a young girl looking at me intently, she has long blonde wavy hair, wise…
Lost Time
I run my fingers across the photo album at the smiling faces of the children I know intellectually to be mine, those chubby cheeks and mischievous grins stare up at me from the pages and I can’t help but feel my heart break a…
Masquerade
As the sun broke through painted skies the chill of winters dawn sent icy shivers coursing down our spine. Once again we knew that the world would change for us tomorrow, if it would be a little or a lot, it still remained to…
A Week of Goodbyes
Time passes as the daylight finally gives up on trying to peek beyond the tightly pulled curtains and disappears below the horizon for another day. Wind howls outside and it seems nothing is still but the shattered beat of our broken heart as we…
(Welfare) Check, Mate.
So, remember that little passive aggressive tweet to the bank I mentioned in my last post? Well apparently it caused a flood of panic for them and their little anti law suit brigade which resulted in me receiving a “welfare” check from our little…
Square Wheels
We’ve had a few emergency psychiatrist appointments recently, due to a continuous state of fight or flight and yo yo like mood swings that include but aren’t limited to paranoia, mild delusions and an intermittent, sudden yet intense need to die immediately. M calmed…
All Out of Magic Wands
I want to die right now. I’m just so fucking exhausted and sick of being in my head, I don’t understand myself and frankly I’ve got no desire to even try to anymore. Maybe this is why some people actually wanted lobotomy’s. Just fuck…
Popular Blog Posts
Looking After You
Poems
An excerpt from “Goodbye Notes”
“…But if you ever need me still,
Simply call me and you’ll see,
That I’ll be waiting in the garden,
By that big old apple tree.
I’ll listen to your stories,
I’ll listen to your dreams.
I’ll remind you of what you’ve forgotten,
And show you who you can be.
And then we’ll laugh together through memories,
As the light fades beyond the trees,
And I’ll tell you how much you matter,
And what you meant to me.”
