THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Category: Life Stuff
The Right to Fight
“My head hurts, I want to die, I’m not capable of handling this world, this life. I am shit and I’m so, so tired. I just want to sink into a hole and be left alone forever, sleep forever. End.They keep saying ‘you don’t… Continue Reading “The Right to Fight”
Rewriting History
Things have been really hard lately, emotionally that is. All these things are happening around us that should be good, great even but a familiar shadow of shame hangs over me and I feel only numbness, fear and pain. Any writing I’ve done lately… Continue Reading “Rewriting History”
Lemonade
I have just seen the report from my recent PET scan and there’s no evidence of metastasis showing up!I’m currently cancer free, stage four can kiss our ass because it’s time to make lemonade from all the bitter lemons we’ve been gathering for so… Continue Reading “Lemonade”
The Moods of the Sea
There’s something magical about the moods of the sea. Calm waves gently lapping on the shore, bringing forth tiny secrets from the vast depths that lay behind them. Little shells line the beach marking the edge of yesterday’s tide, once homes to the critters… Continue Reading “The Moods of the Sea”
All The Kings Horses
“All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn’t put humpty together again” It’s May 12th again. Now 6 years since the start of the suicide attempt saga that should’ve ended our life, yet here we are. The story of this suicide attempt… Continue Reading “All The Kings Horses”
Labyrinth of Shame
I say something insignificant and he answers abruptly. The vibe is off, I look at him.That expression on his face, the sudden weight in the atmosphere instantly fractures my heart and it triggers someone inside, her pain always makes me want to die instantly.… Continue Reading “Labyrinth of Shame”
What To Expect When You Call Lifeline
As you may or may not know, I have a website attached to this blog, it has various pages about mental health things. Anyway, among it I have a page called What to Expect When You Call Lifeline which has been getting an absurd… Continue Reading “What To Expect When You Call Lifeline”
Seeds of Hope
Hope can be a dangerous thing, too little and we exist as a husk blowing through the winds of life. Too much and we risk the crushing disappointment of loss, failure or rejection. After a lifetime of protectively exiling hope from my thoughts, I… Continue Reading “Seeds of Hope”
Full House
On January 1st after we had pried the last of the drunk teenagers from the house and the hangover from our ‘thank god 2020 is over’ party wore off, Mr18 packed up his room and went to live with his girlfriend in the city.… Continue Reading “Full House”
A Dissociative Experience
I’ve been trawling through some of our old writings recently and found the below. I think it is a reasonable example of a dissociative experience and ‘co-consciousness’ written by one of the others a year or so ago and I thought it might be… Continue Reading “A Dissociative Experience”
