THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Category: Life Stuff
Dear Lavender
Dear Lavender, I don’t remember our last conversation. When I left the office I was in the throws of mania, I’d lost all sense of self and reality and life had turned into a blurry upside down mess. When I think of you, I… Continue Reading “Dear Lavender”
Deaths Landing
It’s a beautiful spring day and an unassuming 10m x 5m concrete pad sits quietly in an open space surrounded by green grass. This innocent slab of concrete has seen more than its share of carnage, loss, desperation and fear in its time, but… Continue Reading “Deaths Landing”
Finding Memories
I remembered just now the birth of my second son. Not entirely, but a little, mostly watching from across the room. Reading the story of a fellow blogger just now jogged this back into existence and I have tears streaming down my cheeks from… Continue Reading “Finding Memories”
Therapy Ruptures, Overthinking & Self Analysis
I was angered recently on behalf of a fellow blogger who was, in my opinion wronged very badly by her therapist. I won’t say who, as it’s not my place, but they had what seemed to be a close therapeutic relationship and this was… Continue Reading “Therapy Ruptures, Overthinking & Self Analysis”
Learning to Fly
I spoke with a friend today, we were discussing the current lockdown situation and she expressed her frustration at not being able to go to therapy right now and that there was no realistic time frame for when things would go back to normal,… Continue Reading “Learning to Fly”
Un Masked
I wear a lot of metaphorical masks, but I can’t wear the face kind. This isn’t because I don’t agree with them, quite the contrary I think they’re an important method of keeping everyone safe through the pandemic. I can’t wear a mask because… Continue Reading “Un Masked”
Livin’ La Vida Lockdown
So my little slice of Australia is battling Covid once again and now the entirety of NSW has been thrown into lockdown. I can’t complain really, Sydney has been struggling for months and we regional folk had had a pretty good run. Unfortunately I… Continue Reading “Livin’ La Vida Lockdown”
The Right to Fight
“My head hurts, I want to die, I’m not capable of handling this world, this life. I am shit and I’m so, so tired. I just want to sink into a hole and be left alone forever, sleep forever. End.They keep saying ‘you don’t… Continue Reading “The Right to Fight”
Rewriting History
Things have been really hard lately, emotionally that is. All these things are happening around us that should be good, great even but a familiar shadow of shame hangs over me and I feel only numbness, fear and pain. Any writing I’ve done lately… Continue Reading “Rewriting History”
Lemonade
I have just seen the report from my recent PET scan and there’s no evidence of metastasis showing up!I’m currently cancer free, stage four can kiss our ass because it’s time to make lemonade from all the bitter lemons we’ve been gathering for so… Continue Reading “Lemonade”
