THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Category: memories
Labrador
The California skyline stretches out before me. It’s night time and the glow of lights, blinking from helicopter tails and city offices replaces the stars and illuminates my view. I watch in a trance like state as tiny cars pass through my bedroom along… Continue Reading “Labrador”
Rest now, little one.
Clive died today. Also known by the names “Guinea Rat”, “Squeaks”, “Piggles” and “Mr Piggy”, Clive was our pet Guinea Pig and an important member of our family. He had patchy brown fur and a little cowlick rosette on his head, but other than… Continue Reading “Rest now, little one.”
Dear Lavender
Dear Lavender, I don’t remember our last conversation. When I left the office I was in the throws of mania, I’d lost all sense of self and reality and life had turned into a blurry upside down mess. When I think of you, I… Continue Reading “Dear Lavender”
Deaths Landing
It’s a beautiful spring day and an unassuming 10m x 5m concrete pad sits quietly in an open space surrounded by green grass. This innocent slab of concrete has seen more than its share of carnage, loss, desperation and fear in its time, but… Continue Reading “Deaths Landing”
Zeitgeist
Time falls around me like broken glass, glinting in the sun. Memories reflect off the shards, twisting, turning. I remember you in a warm glow. A laugh, a smile, a red ribbon in your curly blonde hair, you were flying on our hill. Then… Continue Reading “Zeitgeist”
Finding Memories
I remembered just now the birth of my second son. Not entirely, but a little, mostly watching from across the room. Reading the story of a fellow blogger just now jogged this back into existence and I have tears streaming down my cheeks from… Continue Reading “Finding Memories”
Lucy
My dear Lucy, tonight I found you in the dusty depths of a long ago time. I saw our home in the rolling green hills. We stood outside the stable on well worn earth, breathing in the fresh scent of early morning spring dew,… Continue Reading “Lucy”
Rewriting History
Things have been really hard lately, emotionally that is. All these things are happening around us that should be good, great even but a familiar shadow of shame hangs over me and I feel only numbness, fear and pain. Any writing I’ve done lately… Continue Reading “Rewriting History”
Part 3: Meeting Diamond
It’s funny how the mind plays tricks on you, worse perhaps for those of us with dissociative disorders who experience time as anything but linear. I knew I’d been to New Zealand as a child but it wasn’t until writing “The Devil’s Wife” that… Continue Reading “Part 3: Meeting Diamond”
Part 1: The Devil’s Wife
I’m angry right now, seething in fact. Broken on behalf of my father, broken on behalf of my aunt, my cousin and crushed by the ripple effect it had on all those that had suffered at the hands of The Devil and his wife;… Continue Reading “Part 1: The Devil’s Wife”
THE COLOUR OF MADNESS 