THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Category: Ranting and Raving
Lovers, Not Fighters
Things have spiralled so quickly. There are a lot of wonderful, kind doctors and nurses in my world talking with each other at the moment and trying to make things happen quickly for me but they keep forgetting to tell me what their plans… Continue Reading “Lovers, Not Fighters”
Telling Our Story, and Failing
I’m doing some mental health related educational class thingys at this place in the city. I think we’ve mentioned it before, maybe not. I’d plug the group and the set up because it’s truly fabulous but it’s also small and We-the-system are paranoid about… Continue Reading “Telling Our Story, and Failing”
Runaway
*** Update*** They have found her, she is apparently safe but I haven’t been given any more details at this point. Fingers crossed she gets some real help this time ! ****** If you’re the thoughts and prayers type, can you send a few… Continue Reading “Runaway”
*Strangled Cat Noises*
I HATE not being able to fix things. I’m a fixer, that’s what I do. It’s my coping with chaos strategy: suck it up, see it out, hold back all the feeling stuff shit. God knows I’ve dealt with enough chaos to last a… Continue Reading “*Strangled Cat Noises*”
Old Wounds
Holy mother of fuck. You know that little voice of reason that tells you not to look into something further, to let it be and that you’re probably better off not knowing what happened next? Listen to that voice. Seriously. I don’t care how… Continue Reading “Old Wounds”
Dear Customers,
So I’m having to write a whole lot of “sorry we can’t take on your job after all” letters to people at the moment, people like you. I know I’m keeping it pretty vague, things like “due to unforeseen circumstances” and “we apologise”. Although… Continue Reading “Dear Customers,”
Schrodingers Mind Games
Dear M, A terrible thought dawned on me once a long time ago and it never quite managed to leave the dusty corners of my mind. It comes back to remind me of its presence at times when doubt begins to cloud my heavy… Continue Reading “Schrodingers Mind Games”
Elephants
The room is crowded. It’s full of elephants. My aunt has a ridiculously large collection of elephants, and ironically bipolar. Actually in hindsight, those two things are probably linked… Anyway. What was my point here again? Oh yes, elephants. 🐘 My last visit to my… Continue Reading “Elephants”
Hippos
“Stop working so hard, not at your job, in your mind. I’m wondering if there’s something you’ve been trying not to think about, not wanting to think about and avoiding it is using up an awful lot of energy… Yeah. Okay, there are about… Continue Reading “Hippos”
Playing With Fire
I nearly burned myself again yesterday. On purpose I mean, to get that twisted release that comes from binding yourself too tightly for too long until you explode in a senseless torrent of vile self-hatred leaving you with the need to die immediately. But… Continue Reading “Playing With Fire”
