THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Category: Uncategorized
Big Feels
I wanna talk about feelings. The overwhelming hit you outta nowhere and knock you sideways kind. The kind that distort your view in the world so suddenly that reality becomes completely subjective and the truth of five minutes ago becomes burned to a crisp.… Continue Reading “Big Feels”
Write or wrong
I used to feel safe writing here but I can’t bring myself to do it anymore. It feels wrong. The freedom has gone. 100s of started posts, none published. My mind keeps wandering away, searching for something, my authenticity perhaps? I think it’s given… Continue Reading “Write or wrong”
Seven
They say breaking a mirror will give you seven years of bad luck. It’s been 7 years today since a shattered reflection of who “I” once was stared back at me for the final time and the shards of our soul seemingly went their… Continue Reading “Seven”
Empty
I wanna see the blood running down my armsI wanna feel her poison drain awayI wanna plunge a knife deep into my shallow heart Swallow pills until I fade awayThere is a little girl, hiding in a corner.a broken soul,nobody wants her.Found a friend,… Continue Reading “Empty”
Stare
He lifted his head, looked directly at me and grinned. I smiled by way of greeting and asked how I could help. He was with an older woman, his mother perhaps; she answered for him. “Two cappuccinos, skim milk”. “No worries” I replied. He… Continue Reading “Stare”
The death of Hope
I’m in M’s office sitting on a black couch looking at the horse picture on her wall. I’ve just described my current mood as depressed but when she asks for details on what I mean by that I am unable to define it any… Continue Reading “The death of Hope”
Iced Tea
I’ve mentioned before that I live in a small town in rural Australia. Now it’s super tiny. Like whatever it is you’re picturing, I want you to halve it. Cool, okay, now halve it again. Now you’re getting closer, except we have evolved beyond… Continue Reading “Iced Tea”
Forwards
I just drowned two Valium in a glass of rum against my better judgement, but we need to sleep tonight. Last night was one of those nights. The tossing, turning, ruminating, shaking kinda nights. One of those nights where you think too hard about… Continue Reading “Forwards”
Cancer Scan Time
We’ve got a PET scan today. It’s sort of something we’ve been putting off for a while. We were supposed to have an MRI last year but Medicare wouldn’t cover it and we couldn’t afford it. We were unable to see our oncologist because… Continue Reading “Cancer Scan Time”
THE COLOUR OF MADNESS 