THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Tag: anorexia
Empty
I wanna see the blood running down my armsI wanna feel her poison drain awayI wanna plunge a knife deep into my shallow heart Swallow pills until I fade awayThere is a little girl, hiding in a corner.a broken soul,nobody wants her.Found a friend,… Continue Reading “Empty”
Sabotage My Soul
Everyone is waitingbut every day’s the same.Everyone’s debating, but the questions still remain.I cashed in my chips at the first sign of trouble, now I’m running out of room.I found my heart at the bottom of a bottle and then I broke that bottle… Continue Reading “Sabotage My Soul”
What To Expect When You Call Lifeline
As you may or may not know, I have a website attached to this blog, it has various pages about mental health things. Anyway, among it I have a page called What to Expect When You Call Lifeline which has been getting an absurd… Continue Reading “What To Expect When You Call Lifeline”
Seeds of Hope
Hope can be a dangerous thing, too little and we exist as a husk blowing through the winds of life. Too much and we risk the crushing disappointment of loss, failure or rejection. After a lifetime of protectively exiling hope from my thoughts, I… Continue Reading “Seeds of Hope”
Part 4: Blackout
When we were around 13 or 14 we went back to the land of the long white cloud, once again as an unaccompanied minor. By this stage of our life our mental health was declining rapidly and we were just beginning the downward spiral… Continue Reading “Part 4: Blackout”
Part 3: Meeting Diamond
It’s funny how the mind plays tricks on you, worse perhaps for those of us with dissociative disorders who experience time as anything but linear. I knew I’d been to New Zealand as a child but it wasn’t until writing “The Devil’s Wife” that… Continue Reading “Part 3: Meeting Diamond”
Story time: Acceptable Relationship Age Gaps, or Grooming?
*content warning grooming, eating disorders and also Looong post warning! Our teenagers years had been rocky to put it mildly. I’ve been haunted by this part of our life lately and in particular I am having difficulty reconciling the dynamics of a relationship we… Continue Reading “Story time: Acceptable Relationship Age Gaps, or Grooming?”
The Suicide Dress
**Trigger Warning: Eating Disorders, Suicidal ideation. If you are feeling triggered please call your local suicide hotline. I remember the evening I bought the dress, it was 2013 and I was thumbing through a sale rack killing time before a psychology appointment and halfheartedly… Continue Reading “The Suicide Dress”
Story Time…
*Trigger Warning* Anorexia, Suicide, Self Harm, Dissociation It’s so much easier to judge ourselves than to judge others, for some reason everybody seems to hold themselves to a higher standard than others. But we’re all human, we all make mistakes and thank goodness for… Continue Reading “Story Time…”
The Water
Growing up was hard for a variety of reasons, my mental and emotional health has been questionable for most of my life, even as a little kid my peers found me unpredictable and annoying, their parents felt I was a bad influence, then I… Continue Reading “The Water”
THE COLOUR OF MADNESS 