THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Tag: anxiety
Un Masked
I wear a lot of metaphorical masks, but I can’t wear the face kind. This isn’t because I don’t agree with them, quite the contrary I think they’re an important method of keeping everyone safe through the pandemic. I can’t wear a mask because… Continue Reading “Un Masked”
Circles
When darkness falls over my broken heart, whispering winds run circles in my mind.As I hold on to the memory of dying, I wonder who was right.The nighttime highlights old shadows, beckoning out from deaths cozy lair.We’re fighting for a life I laid down… Continue Reading “Circles”
Acid Rain
Drifting through the currents of my mind,I find myself lost in a sea of thoughts.Through high tides and low,in the shadows of darkness we’d roam.We weathered the storms together,but now this journey takes me alone.I counted the grains of the sands of time,as we… Continue Reading “Acid Rain”
All The Kings Horses
“All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn’t put humpty together again” It’s May 12th again. Now 6 years since the start of the suicide attempt saga that should’ve ended our life, yet here we are. The story of this suicide attempt… Continue Reading “All The Kings Horses”
Labyrinth of Shame
I say something insignificant and he answers abruptly. The vibe is off, I look at him.That expression on his face, the sudden weight in the atmosphere instantly fractures my heart and it triggers someone inside, her pain always makes me want to die instantly.… Continue Reading “Labyrinth of Shame”
Seeds of Hope
Hope can be a dangerous thing, too little and we exist as a husk blowing through the winds of life. Too much and we risk the crushing disappointment of loss, failure or rejection. After a lifetime of protectively exiling hope from my thoughts, I… Continue Reading “Seeds of Hope”
Invisible Tripwires
*This is a throw back from our drafts folder circa June 2020 ish? Pre cancer diagnosis but while knowing we were physically unwell and attempting to find out what was wrong. – Kate Most of the time my life feels like a well known… Continue Reading “Invisible Tripwires”
Feather
Sometimes night leaves you with nothing but an urge to burst from your skin. Darkness encompasses everything around you and all that’s left to do is run your fingers along your increasingly protruding bones and write words in your mind over and over until… Continue Reading “Feather”
Trust your body
I came across a letter from August 2020 written to my wonderful psychiatrist M that was stored in phone notes. I’m not sure if we ended up actually sending it to her or not but upon re reading it I’m deeply saddened by just… Continue Reading “Trust your body”
Oracle
I just woke up to my nurse and a doctor who looked exactly like Ted from Schitts Creek standing over me saying my name and offering me an enema. Obviously I had to second guess my state of consciousness there for a moment, particularly… Continue Reading “Oracle”
THE COLOUR OF MADNESS 