The Colour Of Madness
Living with Bipolar Disorder & Mental Illness
Tag: australia
Into The Lighting
A cool evening breeze has finally given us respite from the scorching heat of the past few days bringing with it a silent yet tremendous light show that is eerily illuminating the dark night to the perfect beat of the appropriately soulful and sorrowful…
The Two Sides of The Road
I’m out of town right now, driving into a posh little village in the highlands where old world charm has embraced modern medicine and the local folk are well to do enough to warrant an imaging centre with an MRI machine. They are scanning…
Day Dreamers Sleeping
I don’t know how to tell the difference between what has actually happened and what was simply dreamt of anymore. Memories of my reality are exactly like those of my dreams and it takes detective work to sift through their feasibility before one can…
Update
Okay, some of you might get a bit lost by this post. This is Suzi and Katie giving you a bit of an update, Kate’s struggling at the moment and not on social media or writing much, she’s okay though, she had a nice…
Surrounded By Myself
I’ve been struggling. I’m overwhelmed with responsibilities, frustrated by my inability to fix everything for everyone and disillusioned by the current political climate here in Australia, Hell, the world. But mostly I feel trapped, trapped by the very things I love the most,…
The Blank Page
As a wannabe writer, I live with the age old fear of being struck down with ‘writer’s block’. The rumour is that it’s always there, lurking in the background, threatening to steal our calling, our passion at a moments notice. I usually find it…
Playing With Fire
I nearly burned myself again yesterday. On purpose I mean, to get that twisted release that comes from binding yourself too tightly for too long until you explode in a senseless torrent of vile self-hatred leaving you with the need to die immediately. But…
The Pixels Of The Universe
I’m watching shapes of collective ‘nothingness’ right now, those billions of dots that appear to make up the perceived universe are twisting and forming together again, noticeable enough to swirl seductively through the room as though they are about to physically manifest into something,…
Catastrophic Ecstasy
I’m tired of all my emotional extremes, they’re slowly breaking me. Even when the bipolar is quiet my ability to turn mountains into molehills on a dime truly astounds me. I seem to subconsciously love to watch myself burn and then writhe around in…
Free Fall
It took 20 minutes to descend from 35,000 ft to the earths surface below me and less than 20 seconds to plummet from the 18th floor of the skyscraper hotel I was staying in, all the way down to the ground. Both were of…
Dying From Embarrassment
Embarrassment is my strongest kryptonite. When I am shamefully embarrassed I can go straight from happy go lucky to suicidal with no in between time. I’m okay with mild embarrassment about lots of things, ie acting like a dickhead on the internet, wearing my…
Thirsty Dissociation
Winter is bleak. Or maybe I’m bleak… I’ve written about 10 lines of 10 different blog posts in the last week but I’ve lacked the enthusiasm to finish any of them. I feel like I don’t know who I am right now, I…
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Looking After You
Poems
An excerpt from “Goodbye Notes”
“…But if you ever need me still,
Simply call me and you’ll see,
That I’ll be waiting in the garden,
By that big old apple tree.
I’ll listen to your stories,
I’ll listen to your dreams.
I’ll remind you of what you’ve forgotten,
And show you who you can be.
And then we’ll laugh together through memories,
As the light fades beyond the trees,
And I’ll tell you how much you matter,
And what you meant to me.”
