THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Tag: blogging
Telling Our Story, and Failing
I’m doing some mental health related educational class thingys at this place in the city. I think we’ve mentioned it before, maybe not. I’d plug the group and the set up because it’s truly fabulous but it’s also small and We-the-system are paranoid about… Continue Reading “Telling Our Story, and Failing”
Finding Out Stuff About Yourself
So, it’s always fun finding out things you didn’t know about yourself. I found an old journal blog circa 2014/15. I think on some level I knew it existed, but was largely unaware of its content, which is mostly about suicide and written prior… Continue Reading “Finding Out Stuff About Yourself”
A Week of Goodbyes
Time passes as the daylight finally gives up on trying to peek beyond the tightly pulled curtains and disappears below the horizon for another day. Wind howls outside and it seems nothing is still but the shattered beat of our broken heart as we… Continue Reading “A Week of Goodbyes”
Phone Calls and Fragility’s
I fear there’s only one sure answer to that question I keep asking myself. “Will this ever get better? Will I ever get better?” My first world problems are overwhelming my feeble little mind right now. The others seem to have abandoned me in… Continue Reading “Phone Calls and Fragility’s”
The Two Sides of The Road
I’m out of town right now, driving into a posh little village in the highlands where old world charm has embraced modern medicine and the local folk are well to do enough to warrant an imaging centre with an MRI machine. They are scanning… Continue Reading “The Two Sides of The Road”
Square Wheels
We’ve had a few emergency psychiatrist appointments recently, due to a continuous state of fight or flight and yo yo like mood swings that include but aren’t limited to paranoia, mild delusions and an intermittent, sudden yet intense need to die immediately. M calmed… Continue Reading “Square Wheels”
All Out of Magic Wands
I want to die right now. I’m just so fucking exhausted and sick of being in my head, I don’t understand myself and frankly I’ve got no desire to even try to anymore. Maybe this is why some people actually wanted lobotomy’s. Just fuck… Continue Reading “All Out of Magic Wands”
Why is everyone looking at me?
Today I went grocery shopping with Miss 9. Sounds like pretty standard Saturday, except I spent most of the time unsure if she was really with me or not, doubting her presence and intermittently her actual existence at all. People seem to look at… Continue Reading “Why is everyone looking at me?”
Strawberry Bubbles
Today I felt elated, my problems of yesterday just magically fell away. Today the colours of the earth shon brightly and vividly just for me. Today I had alcohol. Today I talked too much about personal things I shouldn’t say. Today I spent a… Continue Reading “Strawberry Bubbles”
Schrodingers Mind Games
Dear M, A terrible thought dawned on me once a long time ago and it never quite managed to leave the dusty corners of my mind. It comes back to remind me of its presence at times when doubt begins to cloud my heavy… Continue Reading “Schrodingers Mind Games”
