Tag: depression

You Are Bad.

I talk too much. Always have, and as I have been trying very hard to accept and be okay with in recent years, I always will.This has been one of the biggest causes of our internal conflict as someone living with DID. My alters… Continue Reading “You Are Bad.”

Bring it on, 2022.

Okay, so I may be a touch pessimistic but I refuse to come here and say “next year can only get better” because I started saying that in 2015 after our suicide attempt then in 2016 I broke that mirror & Robin Williams died… Continue Reading “Bring it on, 2022.”

Blank

Content Warning ⚠️ discussion of suicide which may be disturbing to some readers. Please decide if it is safe for you to continue & contact lifeline or your local suicide hotline if you are struggling. There is a gun lying at the bottom of… Continue Reading “Blank”

Dear Lavender

Dear Lavender, I don’t remember our last conversation. When I left the office I was in the throws of mania, I’d lost all sense of self and reality and life had turned into a blurry upside down mess. When I think of you, I… Continue Reading “Dear Lavender”

True Colours

Do you know yourself? Do you trust your memories, your feelings, thoughts and opinions to tell you who you really are? Let’s do a little exercise. If you are a regular reader here I want you to pretend for a minute that you don’t… Continue Reading “True Colours”

Carry On

The mood can seem to shift so fast, We’ve been fighting a harsh and unwinnable past. Now time is running out and grief clouds our overcast mind.But the storm in our head’s nearly over,I’m ready to let go of my rein.Carry on fighting my… Continue Reading “Carry On”

Deaths Landing

It’s a beautiful spring day and an unassuming 10m x 5m concrete pad sits quietly in an open space surrounded by green grass. This innocent slab of concrete has seen more than its share of carnage, loss, desperation and fear in its time, but… Continue Reading “Deaths Landing”

The Beast in the Darkness

Kim F, this one is for you (and anyone else who needs to hear it right now). You are already enough, and so much more. 💜 I know things are impossibly hard at the moment and it feels like life outside this pain has… Continue Reading “The Beast in the Darkness”

Time Travel & Exploding Trucks

There are a few things that I consider kryptonite to my soul, among them is the feeling of helplessness. I like to be that steely faced guy who can see something going down, turn off emotional responses and sort it the fuck out. Lost… Continue Reading “Time Travel & Exploding Trucks”

Just Another Existential Crisis

Talking to a dear friend the other day after yet another physical health concern, Suzi commented that she wished God would just make up His mind. “Do you want me or not God?” She had cried out half joking, half serious. Our friend then… Continue Reading “Just Another Existential Crisis”