THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Tag: depression
Empty
I wanna see the blood running down my armsI wanna feel her poison drain awayI wanna plunge a knife deep into my shallow heart Swallow pills until I fade awayThere is a little girl, hiding in a corner.a broken soul,nobody wants her.Found a friend,… Continue Reading “Empty”
The death of Hope
I’m in M’s office sitting on a black couch looking at the horse picture on her wall. I’ve just described my current mood as depressed but when she asks for details on what I mean by that I am unable to define it any… Continue Reading “The death of Hope”
Crumble
Nothing seems to matter anymore, all our words have gone to waste. I’m still chained up by our shadow’s law, still shackled by this face.As the walls around our prison crumble, and the outside world comes flooding in.hollow memories of voices rumble,cutting daggers through… Continue Reading “Crumble”
Sabotage My Soul
Everyone is waitingbut every day’s the same.Everyone’s debating, but the questions still remain.I cashed in my chips at the first sign of trouble, now I’m running out of room.I found my heart at the bottom of a bottle and then I broke that bottle… Continue Reading “Sabotage My Soul”
Tomorrow’s Song
It’s been a while since I learned something new.It’s been a while since I took a chance on you.Let me breathe, take a minute or two.Because It’s been awhile since I knew what to do.The older I get the less I fit in,Perpetually stuck… Continue Reading “Tomorrow’s Song”
You Are Bad.
I talk too much. Always have, and as I have been trying very hard to accept and be okay with in recent years, I always will.This has been one of the biggest causes of our internal conflict as someone living with DID. My alters… Continue Reading “You Are Bad.”
Bring it on, 2022.
Okay, so I may be a touch pessimistic but I refuse to come here and say “next year can only get better” because I started saying that in 2015 after our suicide attempt then in 2016 I broke that mirror & Robin Williams died… Continue Reading “Bring it on, 2022.”
Blank
Content Warning ⚠️ discussion of suicide which may be disturbing to some readers. Please decide if it is safe for you to continue & contact lifeline or your local suicide hotline if you are struggling. There is a gun lying at the bottom of… Continue Reading “Blank”
Dear Lavender
Dear Lavender, I don’t remember our last conversation. When I left the office I was in the throws of mania, I’d lost all sense of self and reality and life had turned into a blurry upside down mess. When I think of you, I… Continue Reading “Dear Lavender”
True Colours
Do you know yourself? Do you trust your memories, your feelings, thoughts and opinions to tell you who you really are? Let’s do a little exercise. If you are a regular reader here I want you to pretend for a minute that you don’t… Continue Reading “True Colours”
THE COLOUR OF MADNESS 