Tag: DID

You Are Bad.

I talk too much. Always have, and as I have been trying very hard to accept and be okay with in recent years, I always will.This has been one of the biggest causes of our internal conflict as someone living with DID. My alters… Continue Reading “You Are Bad.”

I Am Me

“Authenticity. The quality I was so desperately seeking in others, was indeed the quality I was lacking and so desperately searching for within myself. The writers and poets were in fact mirrors to my own deepest self-needs and self-desires.”

Bring it on, 2022.

Okay, so I may be a touch pessimistic but I refuse to come here and say “next year can only get better” because I started saying that in 2015 after our suicide attempt then in 2016 I broke that mirror & Robin Williams died… Continue Reading “Bring it on, 2022.”

Blank

Content Warning ⚠️ discussion of suicide which may be disturbing to some readers. Please decide if it is safe for you to continue & contact lifeline or your local suicide hotline if you are struggling. There is a gun lying at the bottom of… Continue Reading “Blank”

True Colours

Do you know yourself? Do you trust your memories, your feelings, thoughts and opinions to tell you who you really are? Let’s do a little exercise. If you are a regular reader here I want you to pretend for a minute that you don’t… Continue Reading “True Colours”

Deaths Landing

It’s a beautiful spring day and an unassuming 10m x 5m concrete pad sits quietly in an open space surrounded by green grass. This innocent slab of concrete has seen more than its share of carnage, loss, desperation and fear in its time, but… Continue Reading “Deaths Landing”

Finding Memories

I remembered just now the birth of my second son. Not entirely, but a little, mostly watching from across the room. Reading the story of a fellow blogger just now jogged this back into existence and I have tears streaming down my cheeks from… Continue Reading “Finding Memories”

Therapy Ruptures, Overthinking & Self Analysis

I was angered recently on behalf of a fellow blogger who was, in my opinion wronged very badly by her therapist. I won’t say who, as it’s not my place, but they had what seemed to be a close therapeutic relationship and this was… Continue Reading “Therapy Ruptures, Overthinking & Self Analysis”

Time Travel & Exploding Trucks

There are a few things that I consider kryptonite to my soul, among them is the feeling of helplessness. I like to be that steely faced guy who can see something going down, turn off emotional responses and sort it the fuck out. Lost… Continue Reading “Time Travel & Exploding Trucks”

Identity and Grief

I’m constantly struggling to understand myself. Understand my selves. Unfortunately my memory of past events is so compartmentalised that every now and then something happens to challenge my beliefs about who I think I am and it throws me for a loop. My understanding… Continue Reading “Identity and Grief”