THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Tag: dissociation
I Am Me
“Authenticity. The quality I was so desperately seeking in others, was indeed the quality I was lacking and so desperately searching for within myself. The writers and poets were in fact mirrors to my own deepest self-needs and self-desires.”
Fade
In a world filled with warmth, colour and fragrance I can’t help but feel surrounded by a dull, cold, vagueness and it seems that perhaps the echo of winters bite still haunts me. I feel like it might be coming time for us to… Continue Reading “Fade”
Therapy Ruptures, Overthinking & Self Analysis
I was angered recently on behalf of a fellow blogger who was, in my opinion wronged very badly by her therapist. I won’t say who, as it’s not my place, but they had what seemed to be a close therapeutic relationship and this was… Continue Reading “Therapy Ruptures, Overthinking & Self Analysis”
Learning to Fly
I spoke with a friend today, we were discussing the current lockdown situation and she expressed her frustration at not being able to go to therapy right now and that there was no realistic time frame for when things would go back to normal,… Continue Reading “Learning to Fly”
Time Travel & Exploding Trucks
There are a few things that I consider kryptonite to my soul, among them is the feeling of helplessness. I like to be that steely faced guy who can see something going down, turn off emotional responses and sort it the fuck out. Lost… Continue Reading “Time Travel & Exploding Trucks”
Identity and Grief
I’m constantly struggling to understand myself. Understand my selves. Unfortunately my memory of past events is so compartmentalised that every now and then something happens to challenge my beliefs about who I think I am and it throws me for a loop. My understanding… Continue Reading “Identity and Grief”
Acid Rain
Drifting through the currents of my mind,I find myself lost in a sea of thoughts.Through high tides and low,in the shadows of darkness we’d roam.We weathered the storms together,but now this journey takes me alone.I counted the grains of the sands of time,as we… Continue Reading “Acid Rain”
Mind Condos
This is a page from the old journals from 2018, I think Katie wrote it before splitting with Ezzy… it’s an example of some de realisation dissociation and mild paranoia experienced at the time. Today I went grocery shopping with Miss 9. Sounds like… Continue Reading “Mind Condos”
Labyrinth of Shame
I say something insignificant and he answers abruptly. The vibe is off, I look at him.That expression on his face, the sudden weight in the atmosphere instantly fractures my heart and it triggers someone inside, her pain always makes me want to die instantly.… Continue Reading “Labyrinth of Shame”
A Dissociative Experience
I’ve been trawling through some of our old writings recently and found the below. I think it is a reasonable example of a dissociative experience and ‘co-consciousness’ written by one of the others a year or so ago and I thought it might be… Continue Reading “A Dissociative Experience”
THE COLOUR OF MADNESS 