THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Tag: dissociative identity disorder
The Right to Fight
“My head hurts, I want to die, I’m not capable of handling this world, this life. I am shit and I’m so, so tired. I just want to sink into a hole and be left alone forever, sleep forever. End.They keep saying ‘you don’t… Continue Reading “The Right to Fight”
Identity and Grief
I’m constantly struggling to understand myself. Understand my selves. Unfortunately my memory of past events is so compartmentalised that every now and then something happens to challenge my beliefs about who I think I am and it throws me for a loop. My understanding… Continue Reading “Identity and Grief”
Wild Thing
A dark shape darted across the chicken coop in front of me and disappeared. I blinked, rubbed my eyes and surveyed my surroundings. Nothing was amiss, the sun was shining, wind whispered through the lightly waving trees and my lone chicken tilted her head… Continue Reading “Wild Thing”
Super Ted and Finding Sarah
I need to get up and have a shower. It’s 7:30 am and I’ve been lying here awake since 5 but it’s cold, bitterly cold, too cold to survive the 4 metre dash to the bathroom let alone strip naked and wait for the… Continue Reading “Super Ted and Finding Sarah”
What’s in a name?
Life’s been funny lately. I’m not complaining, it’s just kind of strange. I feel different but I can’t properly explain how. Almost like I somehow merged minds with some other parts of us but couldn’t tell you who, why or when. I just suddenly… Continue Reading “What’s in a name?”
A Fox in the Hen House
I used to keep and breed both chickens and Muscovy ducks. For a time they were my pride and joy. A mismatched flock of Isa browns, Rhode Island Red’s and crested silkies with their fluffy feet and pom pom hats would scavenge and peck… Continue Reading “A Fox in the Hen House”
Dark Winter
We had discussed music in our therapy appointment. Music holds a lot of power over us, it can calm us down from a manic rampage or send us spiralling into madness depending on the day. We love every shade of it and treasure it’s… Continue Reading “Dark Winter”
Follow Me
Follow me, I know the way.I know this worn out path through Hell.The secrets we keep live forever here,Secrets we’ll never tell.Ask me all your questions, I’ll know just what to say. Tell me all your fears,let me make everything okay.Depend on me and… Continue Reading “Follow Me”
Acid Rain
Drifting through the currents of my mind,I find myself lost in a sea of thoughts.Through high tides and low,in the shadows of darkness we’d roam.We weathered the storms together,but now this journey takes me alone.I counted the grains of the sands of time,as we… Continue Reading “Acid Rain”
Death’s Playbook
It’s hard to fight against such a friendly foe, to ignore its whispering promises of a rest long awaited, a peace long forgotten when one is so desperately sought. The distorted images of a thousand yesterday’s and infinite tomorrow’s play over and over in… Continue Reading “Death’s Playbook”
