THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Tag: fear
Ultimatum
Is there an amusing light hearted GIF for “I am not going to survive the next few days”? I like embracing humour in my darkest moments, it masks the pain better. Nobody else needs to know I’m falling apart unless I choose to tell… Continue Reading “Ultimatum”
Brave Girls Don’t Cry
New Blog Post on a memory that resurfaced about the night I thought I’d lose my Mum.
#littleTtrauma #memories #sadness #DID #AMillionLittleThings
Footsteps
The sound of footsteps makes me catch my breath and hold it a moment, my body stiffens, my neck tenses to the side and my skin prickles. I have a need to run, to hide what I’m doing, to hide myself, to become invisible.… Continue Reading “Footsteps”
Crouching Liar
Dear M, Maybe you understand me better than I do, or maybe you haven’t got a clue how this is going to work out in the end either. I’ve never actually asked you if you’ve had to deal with a person like me before,… Continue Reading “Crouching Liar”
Airplanes & Apple Blossoms
The air outside is thick with the scent of wattle and Apple blossom, the icy chill of winter has finally passed and spring is here, well at least for a week or so, Jack Frost always comes back for one last bite before skipping… Continue Reading “Airplanes & Apple Blossoms”
Dying From Embarrassment
Embarrassment is my strongest kryptonite. When I am shamefully embarrassed I can go straight from happy go lucky to suicidal with no in between time. I’m okay with mild embarrassment about lots of things, ie acting like a dickhead on the internet, wearing my… Continue Reading “Dying From Embarrassment”
Fragments of a Fragile Soul
Kate saw someone from my past recently but either didn’t share or didn’t let me remember what happened, and now they have quietly crept into my subconscious. I am dreaming uneasy dreams as your movement wakes me gently from my slumber. I nuzzle into… Continue Reading “Fragments of a Fragile Soul”
Cold Water
Do you ever wake up feeing like your heart is squeezing blood up in through the little veins in your throat, faster and faster until a metallic tang invades your tongue and taste buds, your chest vibrates, someone is grabbing hold of your sternum… Continue Reading “Cold Water”
The Root Of All Evil
They say that money is the root of all evil and perhaps that is true, but I tend to think that fear is, or perhaps they go hand in hand. I mean guilt and fear certainly make a lot of people a lot of… Continue Reading “The Root Of All Evil”
A Long Road To Nowhere
I’m so tired. Exhausted in fact. This is all too much for me right now, my heads full. Can I unplug from the world for a while? Please? Simply sleep, be still, be quiet with no demands placed upon me other than simple existence? I… Continue Reading “A Long Road To Nowhere”
