The Colour Of Madness
Living with Bipolar Disorder & Mental Illness
Tag: memories
Elephants
The room is crowded. It’s full of elephants. My aunt has a ridiculously large collection of elephants, and ironically bipolar. Actually in hindsight, those two things are probably linked… Anyway. What was my point here again? Oh yes, elephants. 🐘 My last visit to my…
Fragments of a Fragile Soul
Kate saw someone from my past recently but either didn’t share or didn’t let me remember what happened, and now they have quietly crept into my subconscious. I am dreaming uneasy dreams as your movement wakes me gently from my slumber. I nuzzle into…
33 and a 3rd
This month marks the fact that I am 33 and 1/3 years old, or 1/3 of the way through my life – well thats assuming I live to 100 and I think we all know the chances of that are pretty slim statistically speaking,…
The Highway Blues
The tyres on my car were worn down further than my patience of late and finally one of them gave up on me, fair enough. I had been putting off replacing them for quite a while because in all honesty, and for the same…
An Open Letter To My Abuser, I forgive you.
This is an open letter to one of the guys that sexually assaulted me in high school… Hi. You probably don’t even remember me, all this happened such a long time ago, 21years actually. Somebody’s whole path from birth to adulthood has occurred over…
The Crack in the Ice
I feel sick. Nauseous and shaky. It feels like medication withdrawal but it’s not, it’s just anxiety, or possibly the ice cream I shoved mercilessly into my poor lactose intolerant body last night due to… well, anxiety. Fucking Anxiety. I have been skating on…
Cliff Notes
I went back here today: As I pull into the empty dirt car park memories flood my mind, I push the park brake, take a deep breath and open the door. Last time I was here it was cold, now it’s already 30 degrees…
Salty Air For The Soul
Mr 11 Graduated year 6 the other day, I can’t believe my third born already starts high school in January! The school held a (very) small 5 minute ceremony where they handed out graduation certificates and then had a morning tea afterward. I’ve got…
Postnatal Depression
Memories have a way of revealing themselves to you slowly, but sometimes things you thought you understood turned out to be surface level and when they suddenly reveal themselves in all their glory it feels like someone has plunged a knife straight through your…
Popular Blog Posts
Looking After You
Poems
An excerpt from “Goodbye Notes”
“…But if you ever need me still,
Simply call me and you’ll see,
That I’ll be waiting in the garden,
By that big old apple tree.
I’ll listen to your stories,
I’ll listen to your dreams.
I’ll remind you of what you’ve forgotten,
And show you who you can be.
And then we’ll laugh together through memories,
As the light fades beyond the trees,
And I’ll tell you how much you matter,
And what you meant to me.”
