THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Tag: trauma
Empty
I wanna see the blood running down my armsI wanna feel her poison drain awayI wanna plunge a knife deep into my shallow heart Swallow pills until I fade awayThere is a little girl, hiding in a corner.a broken soul,nobody wants her.Found a friend,… Continue Reading “Empty”
Labrador
The California skyline stretches out before me. It’s night time and the glow of lights, blinking from helicopter tails and city offices replaces the stars and illuminates my view. I watch in a trance like state as tiny cars pass through my bedroom along… Continue Reading “Labrador”
Blank
Content Warning ⚠️ discussion of suicide which may be disturbing to some readers. Please decide if it is safe for you to continue & contact lifeline or your local suicide hotline if you are struggling. There is a gun lying at the bottom of… Continue Reading “Blank”
Fade
In a world filled with warmth, colour and fragrance I can’t help but feel surrounded by a dull, cold, vagueness and it seems that perhaps the echo of winters bite still haunts me. I feel like it might be coming time for us to… Continue Reading “Fade”
Deaths Landing
It’s a beautiful spring day and an unassuming 10m x 5m concrete pad sits quietly in an open space surrounded by green grass. This innocent slab of concrete has seen more than its share of carnage, loss, desperation and fear in its time, but… Continue Reading “Deaths Landing”
Therapy Ruptures, Overthinking & Self Analysis
I was angered recently on behalf of a fellow blogger who was, in my opinion wronged very badly by her therapist. I won’t say who, as it’s not my place, but they had what seemed to be a close therapeutic relationship and this was… Continue Reading “Therapy Ruptures, Overthinking & Self Analysis”
Just Another Existential Crisis
Talking to a dear friend the other day after yet another physical health concern, Suzi commented that she wished God would just make up His mind. “Do you want me or not God?” She had cried out half joking, half serious. Our friend then… Continue Reading “Just Another Existential Crisis”
Shrodingers Secrets
I am but a box, and for as long as I live in silence the secret can both exist and not exist inside me. If I am the only living person in the world who knows, is it even still considered a secret? If… Continue Reading “Shrodingers Secrets”
Circles
When darkness falls over my broken heart, whispering winds run circles in my mind.As I hold on to the memory of dying, I wonder who was right.The nighttime highlights old shadows, beckoning out from deaths cozy lair.We’re fighting for a life I laid down… Continue Reading “Circles”
Identity and Grief
I’m constantly struggling to understand myself. Understand my selves. Unfortunately my memory of past events is so compartmentalised that every now and then something happens to challenge my beliefs about who I think I am and it throws me for a loop. My understanding… Continue Reading “Identity and Grief”
THE COLOUR OF MADNESS 