THE COLOUR OF MADNESS
A Blog About Living with Mental Illness
Tag: unstable
Never
Never is a long time, it’s as close as forever is far away and it feels equally as hopeless. It is a crossed over line in the black and white abyss of thoughts that circles around our loose attempt to cling to life a… Continue Reading “Never”
A Long Road To Nowhere
I’m so tired. Exhausted in fact. This is all too much for me right now, my heads full. Can I unplug from the world for a while? Please? Simply sleep, be still, be quiet with no demands placed upon me other than simple existence? I… Continue Reading “A Long Road To Nowhere”
The Crack in the Ice
I feel sick. Nauseous and shaky. It feels like medication withdrawal but it’s not, it’s just anxiety, or possibly the ice cream I shoved mercilessly into my poor lactose intolerant body last night due to… well, anxiety. Fucking Anxiety. I have been skating on… Continue Reading “The Crack in the Ice”
Coming Of Age
I watched a documentary yesterday and there was a guy on it who was suffering from ‘delusions’ who was convinced he was going to die on or before his 18th birthday because the voices told him he would. He had tried to kill himself… Continue Reading “Coming Of Age”
When Your Inner Voice Is Trying To Kill You
I always tell people to ‘trust their gut’ when they are making decisions, generally it is a statement I wholeheartedly agree with, but when I am unwell I can’t tell if my gut instinct is trying to keep me safe anymore, or if it… Continue Reading “When Your Inner Voice Is Trying To Kill You”
Self-medicating
My friend JP is lovingly badgering me about my non-compliance at the moment, this was his reply to a twitter chat we had when I admitted I had wagged therapy, was self-medicating and not spoken to my doctor: “What is it you are self… Continue Reading “Self-medicating”
The Carnival in my Mind
Fast, furious, upside down and around in circles, it’s the ultimate adrenaline rush. The whole time you violently zigzag around in your ill-fitting seatbelt, your insides are screaming to get outside, you desperately want to get off the ride that you just know… Continue Reading “The Carnival in my Mind”
Coping. Or Not.
Coping is a funny thing, you just do and you do until suddenly you can’t, so you don’t and then everything crumbles around you, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. My mind is teetering on the edge of reason and I am fluctuating between… Continue Reading “Coping. Or Not.”
Straight From The Horses Bedroom
They were the best of times, they were the worst of times… I totally feel that statement right now, I guess it’s a classic sentence for a good reason. The closest thing I have to ‘stable’ right now is what my horse’s call their… Continue Reading “Straight From The Horses Bedroom”
THE COLOUR OF MADNESS 